Moments of Weakness

Being a Christian is hard work.

Before I was saved I always looked at Christians as people who had the world by the… Well I am here to tell you that is not the case. Being a Christian is a lot of work, and I mean a lot of work and I mean daily.

For non regular visitors – a quick recap.

  • 2013 I was hit in the head and diagnosed with a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury.
  • I have not worked since that incident – not because I don’t want to, but because of my constant pain and physical limitations, I can’t.
  • I battle depression daily.
  • And too many more issues to list here.

Now as I have said before on this blog, that being a Christian is really the main anchor that keeps me grounded and still on this side of the dirt. That means that I have FAITH in my God that he is all I need to be a “WHOLE PERSON”. Now what about when I have moments that contradict this “premise” or faith?

As a male in America, society (and men in general) often expects certain things from you. Your identity or self-worth and value are predicated on you being able to fulfill the typical male role models in your home life relationships.

  • You should be the financial provider for the family
  • You should be the strong one whom everyone else can count on
  • You should be the primary parent that “takes care” of the family
  • You should be able to jump into action in a moments notice and drive to where ever to pick what ever up, just because your wife or kids forgot about a project due tomorrow
  • And again, too many more expectations to list here.

Now if you have not received the Grace of Christ into your hear this list should look pretty reasonable. However, if you have accepted Christ into your heart, you know that He is all you need. Your identity, your self-worth and your value all come from the Grace of Christ. 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you…

The problem comes when the Godly-faith part of you gets beaten down for whatever reason, and the earthly side of you starts winning for a bit. This my friends is a Moment of Weakness and it is, for me, ugly. The enemy uses these moments to bring out the old sinful nature of myself. I yell and curse at my family about whatever PETTY problem the enemy has used to weaken me for the moment. And I mean PETTY. as an example, maybe your room isn’t clean enough, maybe you didn’t put the dishes away, maybe you didn’t stay on the budget we agreed to. It doesn’t really matter what silly thing has set me off, but for a few moments, I lose my head and I lose my God, and I lash out at whatever crosses my path.

This happened to me the other night.

I was so mad I left the house (which is ridiculous because all I can do is walk the yard because I can’t drive or really go anywhere to escape) and wanted to be alone and pray and more importantly yell at God. I wanted my “old” life back.  I wanted to be in control. I wanted to be able to work, to not be in pain, to not be depressed. I was mad at my family, myself and my God. Then after a short while, the focus of my anger moved. It wasn’t my family, and it wasn’t God, now I was upset with me. I was upset that I had forgotten that He is all I need. I had forgotten that this time here on earth is so insignificant compared to the time I will get with Him and my family in Heaven. I was upset that I had let the enemy in for that small amount of time that I took my eyes off Him.

This story is a true account of this past Friday night in my home. After a couple of hours, when I got passed the embarrassment worked up the courage to back into the house, my wife and kids were super forgiving and understanding. The really are more family than I deserve. They love me unconditionally and that is a blessing I will never get used to.

I share this event with you so that ALL people; Christians, Non-Christians, theological scholars, and gutter-bum drunks; people from all backgrounds, no matter where you are in you walk with Christ, even if you’re not yet walking with Christ, it is never to late. Turn to Christ, ask Him to forgive your sins, and ask Him to accept you, as you are, to be the Salvation and Ruler of your life. If you can do this your life will be so much better. This next part is important, your life won’t necessarily be any easier, but I promise, it will be better.  Any relationship, even one with the King, the Creator of the Universe, will have conflict. The key is to work through the conflict and fall back on what the relationship is based on. Love for your wife and children, trust with that friend you have had forever, and FAITH in your Father God, the King.

2 thoughts on “Moments of Weakness

  1. That is what is great about being a Christian. We can take our eyes off of God. We can fail, but God will always take us back. With courage, obedience, and faith, we all can Walk on Water!

    Liked by 1 person

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