On August 6, 2013 I was on a dive trip with a friend down in Key West, FL. Between dives a tank broke loose from its clamp and struck me in the head, leaving me with a large gash and a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury (MTBI). Because this was an injury I couldn’t “power” through, I found myself falling into a deep depression. On September 10, 2013 I hit my all-time bottom and considered suicide as a viable option for what I considered to be a miserable existence. As I sat holding the gun I realized that this was not the way for me, I couldn’t leave this world this way and let my family down even more than I had let myself down. I broke down and finally asked God to take over. I came to the stark realization that I couldn’t get through this pain, depression, and misery on my own. I had been trying since my injury to once again solve and control the problems in front of me, and it led me to contemplate taking my own life, talk about God letting you know your dropping the ball…
On September 15, 2013 Donna, the kids, and I went to CUMC and I had what was quite possibly the most emotional day of my life. Since the incident on the 10th, the doctors had prescribed me some antidepressants and I was referred to a psychiatrist for evaluation, but none of that would start me on my road to recovery like that day at church. We went into a Sunday school class and after sharing my story and asking about anger issues, I was challenged by a man to really look at myself and my relationship with Christ. He gave me a book titled Spiritual Fathers and said I should read it, it would help. I had no idea.
Donna and I continued going to that Sunday school class and I was invited to join a journey of enlightenment, spiritual growth, and self-improvement through the power of a relationship with my one true Father God. It took several more weeks after September 10th before I really submitted and let God take over, but now my outlook has totally changed. I know now that as His son, my life is for His glory, and I try every day to make that a reality. I spend time with Him in the Word and in worship and in prayerful reflection daily. I work hard to find joy in all that He puts in front of me, because I know that the trials and tribulations of today are for His glory tomorrow. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). I believe this is my life verse. I needed to be humbled and made weak for God to finally get my attention. Because of my pride, false bravado, ego, and eagerness to control my destiny, I missed all the other times he offered me His Grace. However, once I had no other options but to become humble and admit weakness, was I made strong.
Today I still struggle and fight with the enemy in my life, but I no longer fight alone. God fights with me and through my weakness, His power prevails.
If you would like to follow me and learn more about my journey and pursuit of a Godly life, please check out my Post’s Page to see more of my daily thoughts and discussions with God.